Starting from nothing

 Starting from nothing

Life is bleak sometimes and we don't even know how to dig ourselves out of the grave we dug. One day I randomly woke up and realized everything I have been doing up to that point, was essentially meaningless. I was alone and confused. I felt as if there was not one person on my side and I felt awful. That day I decided that I would be the best version of myself. 

Self discovery is cliched until it happens to you. Finding the meaning of your life is extremely important. For a while just drifting along seems fine. We let other people make life decisions for us and just go with the flow. But it has dire consequences and one day we wake up to realize that we are old and have no accomplishments. 

For me life felt like a vague dream I was having. Days merged into one another. I felt as if I was stuck in some sort of haze and there was no point in existing like this. 

I honestly thought about ending it all and dying. Then I imagined my mother's face on my funeral and I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't do that to her, so I decided to make changes in my life.

I started walking for an hour each day and contemplated life. I paid attention to the people around me and watched as they did simple tasks, like walking their dog or picking up groceries.

Then I started reading some self help books hoping they would make a difference but honestly the advice felt redundant. Everyone has a unique way of thinking and what works for some people may not necessarily work for you.

The one thing that will work is figuring out what you like and how you want to live. Where you see yourself in the future and if you are on the right track to get there.

 Time, unfortunately, isn't stagnant and it will pass. It's okay to make mistakes but it's necessary to learn from them in order to grow and evolve. Someone great one said 

"insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

 So unless you change your ways life will continue to put you down. So be a better person today then you were yesterday.